Time flies ! How many times do you hear that phrase ? And worst of all, how many times do you FEEL it ? Do you often sit looking through family photos remembering them as if they happened yesterday ? Do you look at your children wondering how on earth they got to be so big, when you can remember the day of their birth as though it was yesterday ?
I often find myself surprised at the age of a celebrity when I hear of their death on the news. Can they really have been THAT old ? I remember a couple of years ago watching the celebrations at Disneyland of the 90th birthday of the legendary Dick Van Dyke ! 90 ! You mean Burt from Mary Poppins is 90 ? To give the guy some credit, he looks amazing and is still tap dancing ( and he is 93 this year ! )
And then of course, we look at ourselves and our lives and how quickly time is passing which brings the inevitable sadness and sometimes panic. I know when I look at my children I find it unbelievable that they are grown up with children of their own, while I don’t feel any older. Where did the time go ? To read about my experiences with children leaving home and empty nest syndrome please click here
Sadly, it is when we experience the death of our parents that we start to really question time passing. For me, the death of my father five years ago was not only a huge shock, but brought to the forefront the stunning reality of time. You see, in my innocence I always thought he would be here. I never thought about family life without him.
When someone passes away we often start to think of past memories with them. We search through mountains of old photos in a bid to try and make ourselves feel closer to that person. In doing this we often bring up the stark reality of time passing by. I was fifty years old when my father died and this was the time I was stunned at where I was in my life. It was hard to grasp the concept of how quickly the years had flown by and I felt a huge wave of sadness.
I somehow wanted time to stand still and I became desperate for things to remain as they were, without anyone getting older. How many times have you enjoyed a perfect day with the people you love and thought that you didn’t want the day to end ? How lovely would it be, if we could somehow freeze a moment in time so we could savour the perfect moment forever ? OK, I’m dreaming ! We all know it isn’t possible. And the year after my father died my daughter gave birth to my first grandson, therefore proving the old adage that life goes on. If you would like to read about my thoughts on becoming a grandparent for the first time please click here
So how can we cope with this passing of time that strangely appears to speed up as we get older ? Is there a way to not let this feeling spoil what we DO have ? It is very easy to get sucked into a permanent state of sadness about time passing as we get older. So what are my thoughts on dealing with this ?
Plan your days, weeks, months ahead. This way you don’t drift into a state of apathy about life. I like to have a full diary of exciting things, as that lifts my mood and gives me something nice to look forward to. I always like to book a holiday as soon as I get back from a holiday as this keeps the holiday blues at bay. It doesn’t have to be an expensive holiday. Even planning day trips close to home will give you a focus in your life. Keeping busy is a great way to use time well.
Bucket lists are not just for retired people or people wanting to jump out of aeroplanes ! Bucket lists give us a chance to look at what we want to achieve in our lives. Writing a list makes us stop and re evaluate our current life. Are we where we want to be ? Do we have dreams of living in the country in a cottage with roses round the door ? Are we still dreaming of becoming self employed and running a tea room in the local village ? What places in the world would we love to visit ? Do we want to drive a steam train like the one we dreamed of as a youngster ? Well, here is your chance to make those dreams come true. Write your bucket list today ! Not tomorrow or when you retire. Today is the day. Did you know if you write down your dreams then they are more likely to become reality.
Never waste time with people who drag you down or make you feel inadequate. Negativity is soul destroying and we don’t need it in our lives. Spending precious time with people who make us feel low is such a waste of time. Remember you can’t get on with everyone, so stop trying. Seek out those that make you feel loved and treasured. Time spent with like minded people is time well spent.
Life is tough. We have all been through rough times which have tested us to our limit. No one is excluded from this. The problem is that these difficult times can drag us down to such a depth, that before we know it, a huge amount of time has passed us by. There are some instances in life where it is very difficult to be positive and to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know this from my own experiences. Remaining positive and finding any small hope to cling onto, is crucial in getting past this stage. Try look for the good things in your life and if you are struggling then do not be afraid to seek help. Even talking to a friend can set you on a positive path and enjoying life again.
Take time for you. Spend time doing little things that fill your soul with joy. Read that book that you bought a year ago. Visit the spa and have a relaxing massage. Every week cook a meal with your favourite food and set the table as though it were a special occasion. Wear the dress that you keep saving for best ! I mean, why do we do that ? JUST WEAR THE DRESS !
Conversely don’t do things that make you unhappy. Have you ever been invited to an event and you REALLY don’t want to go ? But you go and you spend the evening wishing you were at home with your feet up watching TV. You will end the night feeling that you have wasted your time and THAT is what we want to avoid. Start saying NO to these type of invites. Unless, of course it is an important family event that sometimes we have to attend because of duty. Just be selective about what you accept in your life and look at how it will make you feel.
So on that note I will finish this blog post but please let me know if you have any ideas for thought provoking topics you would like me to cover.
Until next time dear friends